Season Finale Redux: "Bitch, I'm Watching My Stories." 4:12 AM

Tonight marked the season finale of the last of the 4 shows I allow myself to watch (download) weekly. I don't watch alot of TV; mainly because I don't have one. But I've been faithful to the few I managed to catch the beginnings of back in college that remained interesting/awesome/etc., and one I was introduced to by Christie, who I proudly share the same guilty pleasure of being obsessed with the show. I'm just going to go over the finales, and my thoughts on each.

If you are worried about spoilers for the finales of Heroes, Lost, The Office, and/or Gossip Girl, stop reading now.

Heroes: "An Invisible Thread"



What happened: The Brothers Petrelli fly (literally, together, at the same time) into the room, powers a-blazin' ready to take on Sylar ni a final showdown. Nathan obviously loses, and Sylar slits his throat. Mama Petrelli freaks out and begs Matt Parkman to (get this) erase Sylar's thoughts and memories, and replace them with Nathan's. This somehow causes Sylar to shapeshift back into Nathan. When he wakes up, OH GOD IT'S NATHAN BUT NOT REALLY. Matt Parkman does not agree with this and pouts. Everyone else is left in the dark about SylarNathan and everyone apparently goes about their lives...until a few months later when Nathan has an overwhleming and familiar fixation with his clock being a minute and a half slow, causing Mama Petrelli to inwardly "oh shit". Tracy Strauss is now a water mutant, killing off former Building 26 employees. She froze herself to save Micah, got shot and exploded, and melted down a drain, but not before a groan-inducingly bad CGI wink at the camera. Matt Parkman recovers from the loss of Daphne (BOOOO) in like a week and wants his ex-wife back after learning about the existence of BabyMattPahkmun. She's iffy. The episode closes with him mind-powering the bad guys away while he holds his new/old family close. Hiro has ear and nosebleeds from overdosing on his powers, and Ando has Street Fighter powers. Peter is still whiny and indecisive. Claire is still finding out what to do with her life, and has really terrible bangs. Mohinder seems to no longer have a purpose. Danko is still a giant douche. Mr. Muggles still rules.

Pros: Sylar hitting on Claire was the most hilariously creepy thing I have ever seen. I also really enjoyed the arc involving Hiro's illness - is it something that could happen to any of the characters, or just him?

Cons: I know this show is far-fetched...but COME ON. Do they honestly expect SylarNathan to never regain his memories? They would have to keep Parkman around for the rest of his life in case of any slip-ups, which apparently are already occurring. Parkman hated the idea to begin with, and I doubt now that he has a family that he'll want to follow the Petrelli gong show around. They didn't even let the viewers wait like...10 minutes before showing Sylar peeking through his new body. And Tracy? JUST DIE ALREADY. Seriously that's all I can think of regarding that. Her character is boring and useless and provides nothing but eye candy. And I have Sylar for that....wait, no I don't, because Sylar is Nathan now. Oh for fuck sakes.

Rating: 3/5. Sharks being jumped and such.

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Lost: "The Incident"



What happened: Other than 2 hours of my eyes bleeding from watching AS HARD AS I CAN...Jack, Katie, Sawyer, Juliette, Miles, Jin, and Hurley drive up to the Swan to toss the bomb into the drill site, which is on the verge of exploding. Dr. Miles' Dad tried to halt the construction, but Radzinsky is a huge dick and forced the workers on. They hit the electro-magnet pocket, causing the drill, the huge scaffolding holding the drill, some cars, a toolbox that made some sweet impact on Jack's head, and some chains which led to Juliette (Dammit.) all get sucked into the hole. Sawyer loses his shit and almost gets sucked in himself. We find out that Rose and Bernard (YAY!) have been camping it up in the jungle with Vincent in the 70's the whole time and just wanna chill out and live their awesome in love lives. Sun still hasn't found Jin. The Ajira survivors continue being shady and being the mysterious box of mystery over to...somewhere they don't tell Frank Lepidus they're going. John Locke, Ben, and Richard take the Others to Jacob's place, which ends up being the damn statue foot we saw in Season 4. (I know, right? This fucking show.) John tells Ben he has to kill Jacob. Ben does it because SmokeMonsterAlex told him to do whatever Locke says. But not before everyone watching was kicked in the face by the reveal that John Locke's body was in fact in the mysterious box of mystery, and the John Locke we've been seeing the whole time wasn't John at all, but was in fact that random guy at the beginning of the episode that said he would find a loophole and one day kill Jacob. Even worse, said guy is apparently the Smoke Monster. Before you can recover from that, The show takes us down to the bottom of the drill hole wreckage and JULIETTE IS ALIVE YAY! But very very screwed. She notices the non-detonated bomb next to her and repeatedly smashes it with a rock until BOOM! White flash, end of episode. *breathes*

Pros: The Locke/Smoke Monster twist was brilliant. Miles having the "DAD!" moment with Dr. Chang was perfect timing. Jacob having a direct connection with all of our survivors at some point in their lives? Brain-meltingly wonderful. I will be thinking of what happens in Season 6 for the next 8 months. I hate myself.

Cons: I really, really liked Juliette. I also kind of really wanted Ben to realize that he was in fact NOT with John Locke inside the statue. Also of course, we have no idea of the effect of the bomb, and will not have any idea until Season 6 begins. All we got was a flash of Jack's eye. It's torture.

Rating: 5/5. Lost makes me scream at my monitor.

---

The Office: "Company Picnic"



What happened: Big Dunder Mifflin company picnic. Michael and Holly do a skit for the employees, which bombs in every sense of the word. Michael writes her a note and waits for the perfect moment to give it to her in an attempt to get her back, but decides against it, seemingly happy with being able to see her every now and then. Scranton takes on Corporate in volleyball, Charles Miner is a dick as usual. We meet Dwight's best friend, who is amped-up Dwight, and is a general asshole to Angela until Dwight yells at him to stop. Angela has a glimmer of thanks in her eyes. Pam hurts her ankle and Jim takes her to the hospital. In the final scene, Jim gets called in to the room for "an update" and OMFG PAM IS PREGNANT EVERYBODY NOW YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Jim calls Dwight, tells him to send in the subs, shoots an adorable teary-eyed look at the camera, and runs back to Pam.

Pros: JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam JimandPam ...I'll stop. Ryan on his phone during the game was hilarious. Also got a huge kick out of Stanley relaxing in his chair being all "Pfft, way to volunteer for ACTIVITIES, I like my chair thank you very much." And they used the hospital set from Scrubs.

Cons: Michael and Holly's skit was almost too painful to watch. David Wallace almost shat himself in embarrassment. Charles Miner makes me angry just watching him.

Rating: 5/5. If only for the last scene.

---

Gossip Girl: "The Goodbye Gossip Girl"



What happened: It's graduation! The Mean Girls are focusing on who will be Queen once Blair's gone to college, and Jenny's set on putting a stop to it. She decides to go about it by beating out the other girls on bringing the biggest gossip to the table during the grad party. Blair is stressing over Chuck not admitting he loves her. Gossip Girl sends out a nasty blast about everyone, and Serena decides to try and identify her. It's a senior, and its' someone who's off to school with some of them. They are linked to Eric's BF Jonathan, who turns out to have hacked GG's e-mail. Jenny finds primo material for the party. When everyone's at the party, GG posts every single thing she's ever been sent, and everyone briefly hates Serena. She tells GG to meet at a bar, and GG gets all deep on everyone and reminds them that they are the reason she even exists. Chuck finds out Blair slept with his Uncle Jack and gets all huffy. Blair tells Chuck she loves him again, and he says nothing, again. Blair cries. Jenny and Blair meet in the bathroom, and Blair spills that she, in fact, thinks Jenny deserves the Queen title. The Mean Girls buy Random New Girl a headband crown, Blair promptly rips it out of her hand and announces Jenny is Queen. Jenny sits down and gets to business. Nate decides to go backpacking with Vanessa after all. Rufus proposes to Lily with a club wristband. Rufus and Lily's estranged son Scott, that they were told died, ends up at the cafe where Nate and Vanessa are and briefly speaks to Dan. Blair is walking down the street to discover Chuck was flying all over the globe to retrieve all her favourite things. He tells her he loves her too, she tells him to say it again, and the episode ends all kissy and romantic-like, but not before Georgina sneaks into NYU and asks to be Blair's roommate.

Pros: FINALLY CHUCK AND BLAIR. Scott going to school with Dan is going to cause a huge awesome-storm. Jenny is in charge now and I like this. Rufus and Lily are calmed down finally and I like Nate and Vanessa together.

Cons: Georgina seems to just be on the show for lack of plots. I was a tad disappointed we didn't get to unmask Gossip Girl, but that's kind of the point of the whole show.

Rating: 5/5. Stoked for next season. So much opened up.

---

Welp, that's it. I think this took me 2 hours to write. Sleep time, y'all.

Pictures that creep the hell out of me, part 1. 12:24 AM

I am 15 years old; also I want a sparkling vampire boyfriend. 5:18 AM

Raise your hand if you enjoy totally contrived ridiculous fiction in the form of an atrociously written vampire (and I use that term loosely) romance novel.

Me either. At least, not yet. I have yet to read Twilight, the world's current pre-teen-targeted cash cow...but I liked the movie.

I'm sorry.

I AM SORRY BUT I LIKED IT.

Hate me if you will. I admit it was no cinematic masterpiece. It was actually quite poorly made. The acting was mediocre, the dialogue was TERRIBLE...but when the credits rolled, all I could think of was how badly I wanted my very own chalky-toned, amber-eyed, vampire boyfriend. Who sparkles in sunlight. And doesn't feed on humans. Because that ain't cool, apparently.

It's partially this guy's fault:



That would be Jackson Rathbone, my new boyfriend. He's in a band called 100 monkeys that base most of their songs on improv. He's also very talented at playing a schizophrenic. Saw it on some show called "Criminal Minds", which I believe to be American? Anyway. There's my latest unattainable goal whom I have pictures of on my PC.

I mean I don't.

Back to Twilight. As a film, it was complete garbage. But the story...Stephanie Meyer, as crazy and trapped-in-an-emo-teenager's-body as she may be, knows exactly what every single one of us has at least once in our lives thought OMG EVERLASTING LOVE WITH THE PERFECT GUY SWOONY MCFLAWLESS (AND OH LOOK HE'S A VAMPIRE HOW FRIGGIN RAD IS THIS) ...you get the point.

I have a few friends that enjoy it also, for the same reasons. Well that, and the fact that the male cast is prettier than what's even remotely fair.

Avoiding the screaming eleventeen year olds at book releases though (I save that shit for Harry Potter, bitches.), I can admittedly like this film and poke as much fun at it as I like, because, well...it's easy. Rifftrax ripped it up amazingly, as usual. If you've never heard the guys from MST3K before, I recommend them with the highest recommendation I can....recommend.

I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.

...

I hope I never write anything like this again. I should be shot. WHy am I even still awake?

A happy post in which I call someone a cunt. 3:22 AM

Well yes, it's been months. Whatever.

I'm sure most of you are aware of the media's latest big thing - Susan Boyle, a 47 year old unemployed woman from a small village in Britain, blew everyone's freaking minds the other day on Britain's Got Talent. It's like American Idol, only much less of a gong show.

Susan's intro on the show was a rather unflattering recording of her eating a sandwich in the waiting area, by herself, accompanied by some kind of jugband fairytale sort of music. She was immediately written off as a joke, presumably to be this year's emabrassing youtube performance. Of course every viewer at this point was giggling to themselves, "well, this should be good."

People, you have no idea.



Susan steps onto the stage, and announces she will be singing "I Dream a Dream" from Les Miserables. A noteably difficult song, for anyone. The track is started, and the audience waits.

And, well...watch for yourself.

I have watched this video 6 times now, and have yet to be free of chills and a slight tear up. Absolutely phenomenal. Incredible. Holy effing WOW.

A follow-up article by the Daily Mirror has Susan's story, and it's a sad one to say the least. At least there's a happy ending, with Simon Cowell all over the goddamn everything to have her sing for his label. She'll be a professional singer, just like she has always wanted. It's precious, and wonderful, and beyond well deserved. I wish her the best.

However, one thing really got to me that I have yet to...get over. It's a small, yet horribly glaring moment, at 1:23 in the video.


This girl.
This girl right here.

The one with the beak on her face making the eye roll and grimace like a huge c u n t.

Girl, I wanna punch you in your droopy-ass face. Hipster haircut, too much eyeliner, self-important attitude...yup. CUNT. Just a small example of the kind of stupid judgemental crap that I know most of the audience was displaying when they saw Susan take the stage. The kind of crowd that thinks talent only comes hand-in-hand with modelesque beauty. I hope each and every one of those assholes sat in their chairs and wanted to vomit due to their own embarassment. But her especially. Good on ya, editor dude.

The female judge said it best - they were all laughing, and now they're chowing down on their feet. That'll learn ya. It's a huge wake up call for alot of people, but sadly, the world is still full of people like the pleasant assholes featured in the video clip.

I'm happy as all hell the editor decided to put her into the final video. I hope she sees it. I hope everyone she knows sees it too, so they can see what a judgmental cunt she is. And I hope she feels like a giant asshole for judging this woman, and everyone else she's done that smart ass eye-roll at. Because it's obvious she's a pro at it. She reminds me of the girls who scoff and laugh at a nerdy kid if he musters up the courage to ask one of them on a date.

Teenage Hipster Schadenfreude. aka GIRL YOU ARE A CUNT. And I hate you and everyone like you. Please congregate all those like you into a shipping crate and seal off any holes so as to suffocate yourselves while you all give eachother dirty looks but never have the guts to say anything to eachother's faces.

Was that too harsh? I don't know - if I was caught on national television making that face I'd buck up and prepare for the terrordome.

*edit* I linked to this on my facebook just now, and it actually asked me for a CAPTCHA before I could post it. Ridiculous.

"Wolverine" Get Reshoots; We Get A Sexy Picture. 3:47 AM

Harry from aintitcool recieved an e-mail from Hugh Jackman himself recently stating that the upcoming Marvel release is doing a few reshoots.

Hey Mate- Would you mind posting this? Thank you for your support! HJ

Hey everyone -

It's Hugh Jackman, sending this note from freezing Vancouver. I have read a lot of your online comments regarding the footage that we are currently shooting and I share your passion for the Wolverine character and the movie - I owe it all to you guys!

I wanted to reach out and let you know that due to scheduling conflicts with certain cast members and location/weather considerations, we had to wait until now to shoot a couple of scenes. Please rest assured that WOLVERINE will be badass and hopefully meet all of your expectations. I am stoked by the positive response to the teaser, which clearly reflects the tone and scope of the film. If you like that, we've got much more in store!

In the meantime, here's an exclusive shot of some characters you may recognize...

Cheers,

Hugh

Said photo is here:



*Sigh* May can't come soon enough.

If yesterday (today?) was a person, I'd bitchslap it. 9:08 AM

Well, it's once again 9am and I've yet to be even remotely tired. I really hate falling into this habit. It makes getting out of bed the most arduous task on the planet, my eating schedule ends up being just as out of whack, and my life seems to revolve around waking up at some obscene time after dinner, showering, going to work, coming home at 3, and sitting on here for...hmm, going on six hours.

Sigh.

Speaking of work...I was late tonight, no thanks to the Dundas St. Westbound streetcar taking over half a goddamn hour. I'm not even kidding. I got to St. Patrick station just after 9:30, went up to the streetcar stop, and looked east like I usually do to see if I've just missed the streetcar. Nothing there all the way to Yonge. So I figure it's been at least 5 minutes. This particular streetcar is scheduled to come every 12 minutes or so. It's -10 with a windchill from hell, but I can wait a bit.

I see the westbound streetcar go by. Yay, that means mine is coming soon!
...then I see another one.
I'm getting rather cold.
...then I see a third.
I can't feel my feet.
I'm hopping up and down inside the shelter trying to revive my frozen self, when the streetcar finally pulls up.
I sit down, and check the time on my phone.
10:04.
...
Fuck. This.
Thankfully my boss understood my predicament and didn't penalize my lateness.
I still made no money and almost cried on the way home.
I won't get into my money issues on the internet.
But I will say I'm working towards this month being the end of them.

I also dropped my month-old camera in the toilet at the Bovine on Halloween.
There's a waste of $250.

Observe the wonderful resulting photo quality along with my tired, frustrated face.

What the hell day is it even right now? I'm going to try to sleep. This is all kinds of fail.
I also don't have any toothpaste or body wash right now. Yay dirtbag! Ugh.

The winter, it is here. 9:59 AM

So it's been snowing like an asshole outside, and honestly, I haven't left the house in 7 days. Really. I've sat here and watched MST3K, ate some pad thai (thanks, C, I still owe you for that one) and generally just cowered in disgust every time I peek out the window to see if it's gotten any better outside.

I've also been into this lovely sleeping pattern where I'll pass out around 4am, wake up at 8, stare at the ceiling for an hour or so and end up doing something productive on here. Did I tell you C bought me an entire new PC? Well, she did, and I didn't deserve it. I love her to bits. She's moving away, no thanks to the horror known as "Upstairs Jeff", and now my BFF will no longer literally be a 15 second walk from my door.

Take a moment of silence for my pouting please.

My blogTO account has been "temporarily disabled" because the asst. editor hasn't met me in person yet. I'm going a tad stir crazy not being able to post. The funny thing is, since he's disabled my account, there's been maybe 3 or 4 posts on the entire site that aren't automatically put up ahead of time (Morning Brew daily, and Flickr Xmas countdown this month).

Sigh. Such is life, I suppose. I was supposed to meet with him yesterday, and well...you know. Snowpocalypse and such.

This is a photo I took almost 2 years ago around this time, of my door:

...

:(