Next up on Decapitation Week...

Continuing on with the pleasant theme of forced head removal, the news has graced us with yet another decapitation story. This time, however, it wasn't a random attack.

The dismembered body of a 20-year-old English girl was found in Brazil after her boyfriend killed her and filmed the entire incident with his cell phone. Britain was shocked to learn of the brutal killing of Cara Marie Burke (17), by her own boyfriend Mohammed Santos (20).

Having met Mohammed in London, Cara followed him to Brazil after his visa expired and he was forced to leave the UK. The 20-year-old man reportedly killed the girl in his apartment. On his mobile phone, investigators discovered footage of Mohammed stabbing Cara and then decapitating her.

A policeman told Brazilian television: "The telephone was full of photos and videos. He grinned as he chopped off her limbs. The photos also include ones like those of the Taliban, in which the decapitated head is replaced atop the body..."

Further investigation reveals that Mohammed was high on the drugs, and claims that cutting his girlfriend up could be related to simply slicing beef, only "bloodier". How swoon-worthy.

What in the hell is wrong with people lately? There's a few hundred pages of speculation as to why he did it, ranging from his girlfriend's denial of marriage so he could obtain a Visa, to protecting himself from being turned in for drugs. He even turned up the music in his apartment to prevent anyone from hearing her scream.

Then he filmed it. On his phone. If that ain't love, baby...

In light of these recent events, I am now afraid* of the following:
1. Winnipeg
2. Greyhound busses
3. Knives
4. Cell phones
5. Men

*Not really. I just think these people need to watch a little less Dexter. However, if you're aren't insane, watch as much Dexter as you want. It's a great show.

I think next time I have a boyfriend, I'm going to ask him politely if he's ever had an urge to, "Well...you know, babe, get all jacked up on blow, chop me up into little bitty pieces, cut off my head, and then toss me into a suitcase and throw me (unsuccessfully) into a river? Babe? ...Sweetie, where are you going...?"

*door slam*

...

*fail*